Giant Squid “1”: Cymbria “1”

February 23, 2007

I woke up this morning just as the giant squid dragged my head under the waves. I was limp, accepting of my fate. I’d lost the fight against those horrible slimy tenticles. I’d almost made it across the water too. So close.

What a way to start the day.

Well, I’ve already had my revenge. ~This~ was the main story on the home page when I turned on my laptop.

I am at one with the universe, and it’s got my back.


The Couch – Part two

February 20, 2007

The line rang three times before his brain warmed up enough to realize what a strange thing he was doing. But it was too late. A girl’s soft “hello” sounded in the earpiece just as he was pulling it away. Brad froze. His roommate, Jason, wandered in for a coke and found his friend staring at the fridge magnets with an expression of pure terror.

“Chick?” asked Jason, tossing Brad a can.

Brad’s free arm didn’t budge. The pop can hit a table leg and rolled across the linoleum.

“Man,” grunted Jason, picking it up, “you’ve gotta learn to talk to women.” “Hello?” the girl said again.

“Uhg,” said Brad.

“Hello? Hellooooo?”

Brad finally managed a “hi”, and even a half decent “how are you?”

Jason gave him a thumbs up from the doorway.

“Fine, thanks,” said the pretty voice. “Are you calling about the couch?”

“Um…” Brad looked over to Jason, who was cheering him on with a mime act that would make Jonny Knoxdale blush. “Yes,” said Brad, like he’d never been so sure of anything in his life.

When Brad got off the phone, he had a big smile on his face and the girl’s address in his hand. Jason hooted and punched him in the arm.

“Way to go man! That’s what I’ve been talking about,” he said. “Where’d you meet this chick? What are you gonna do?”

“Buy a couch,” said Brad, rubbing his arm.

It was Jason’s turn to be speechless. He couldn’t remember seeing Brad with a date, not once during the three semesters of grad school they’d shared the apartment.

“Brad, dude, don’t you think that’s moving a little fast?” He said, after the shock wore off. “I haven’t even met this chick! And you need the J-man stamp of approval before we start talking furniture?”

Brad’s grin spread wider. He still didn’t even know her name.

 Keep checking SavingCymbria for the next installment of “The Couch”- A segmented short story

Teaser for “The Couch”

February 19, 2007

It wasn’t that Brad Jones was a gambler. He hardly ever took risks.

It was just that he’d had a bad day, and the rain on his walk home from campus was making it worse. He was too wet, too cold, and too tired to remember that he wasn’t even a curious kind of guy. All his brain could manage through its misery was hating the little white man across the street who wouldn’t light up to let him cross. A van sped by and hurled a wall of slushy water at Brad. Mucky gobs of salty, dirty, mush dribbled off his glasses and down his cheeks. The last dry spot under his nylon shell dissolved. He swore and spun round to press the walk button again.

He shouldn’t even have noticed the paper fringe, wriggling and spitting in the wind. Brad Jones just wasn’t that type of guy. The flyer had ripped away, leaving half a dozen copies of the now useless phone number to fray off the pole. On any other day he wouldn’t have torn off one of the tabs and shoved it into the back pocket of his Levis. He certainly wouldn’t have remembered it when he got home. And you can be sure he never would have smoothed the tiny paper out in his palm, picked up the kitchen phone, and dialed the number.

Don’t forget to keep checking SavingCymbria! You don’t want to miss the next installment of “The Couch”-a short story by Cymbria Wood 

Jack wants you back – Run!

February 19, 2007

The Internet stole another little piece of my soul yesterday. I had wandered out into the web, naively, innocently, and was surfing a crest of popular urls when it happened. It was bad enough that I let myself get sucked into youtube. Who knew I cared so much about a man who can use time-editing instead of playing talent to make a music video (check out “Amateur”)? I should have shut down my laptop then, but no, I had to go see what this whole facebook fuss was all about.  That’s when the unthinkable happened…

For all my life I have believed myself to be the only Cymbria running around. It was a hefty responsibility, but one I’ve always cherished. Who else could have had a poet mother who, at twelve years old, saw the word that would decide her daughter’s fate on a Prince Edward Island road-sign? Well, apparently there was someone else and now I’m mourning the loss of my uniqueness. I typed the name in on facebook and the face that came back to me wasn’t my own. ACK!

Hello, Cymbria-version2.0, if you’re reading this you know you’re no longer alone in the universe. You and I have shared many of the same experiences, mispronounciations, and misspellings. Maybe, if things were different and you were a Susie or a Mary-Anne, we could have been pals. I’m sure you’re a lovely person. But, as it stands, there’s just too much baggage between us. I will, however, offer you a word of advice: If you ever get a call from a man with an odd accent who calls himself Jack… just say no to that second date he’ll say you agreed to go on!!   

Jennifer Garner’s Secret

February 16, 2007

“Happiness is your own responsibility” ???

I’m sure you’ve heard that quote before. The latest person preaching it is Jennifer Garner, in a magazine interview. Sure, you say, of course a gorgeous successful actress is going to adopt that phrase. What about us? As if we didn’t have enough responsibilities! Now we have to take on our own happiness too?

Well, I have to say I agree with her. Would you give that responsibility to anyone else? Faith and lifestyle can give you the tools for happiness, but it is up to us to recognize it, own it, and hold on to it. The phrase gives us the power and permission to pursue contentment as a personal goal. The trick is, we also get to decide when we’ve achieved it.

“How have you managed to do all this?” An astonished Dean asked my Aunt, in her recent job interview for a professorship at a B.C. university. He was dumbfounded by her resume. She’s achieved a dozen people’s goals, but never stopped long enough to recognize that fact and own it. I guarantee someone is looking at your life right now and saying, “she/he must be so happy.” Well, what if there’re right? And you just haven’t stopped long enough to read your own life resume, and figure it out for yourself. My Aunt got the job. Jennifer Garner got Ben Affleck. I’m ridiculously in love and getting a chance to write. So what if all my socks (and shoes!) have holes in them and I’m recovering from pneumonia! I have every reason to be happy, and I bet you do to. Maybe, just for today, you and I can go ahead and put a checkmark next to happiness. We have enough on our to do lists; let’s get the easy stuff out of the way first!

Coming soon

February 8, 2007

Coming soon…

What’s in a name?

February 8, 2007

I’m sitting at Starbucks, listening to a man plot how to minimize the alimony he’ll be paying his soon to be ex-wife. I can’t help wondering what could have gone so wrong that this well dressed, articulate man can’t say his wife’s name without adding an awful guttural hiss at the end. It couldn’t be because of the dirty dishes, or that he worked too many nights and she worked too many days. It’s too many of these arguments left unresolved, to fester and turn each spouse’s name putrid in the other’s mouth. There must be some way to guarantee that won’t happen to my marriage, or to yours. I feel helpless. I want to reach over and smack this man in the nose for his ugly selfish words. I want to remind him of how his wife’s name sung in the air around them on their wedding day. But I won’t. He’s given too much away for one girl at a coffee shop to smack some sense into him (even an overly poetic one). I’m going to go home and make my own husband corn instead of peas tonight, because it’s his favorite side. The only thing I can guarantee is that I’m going to keep doing something everyday to remind him that he’s my favorite side!