Retail Rage (the dangerous second cousin of Roid Rage)

July 31, 2007

You can see it in their eyes just before it takes hold. But by then it’s too late. The body and mind are too far gone. I’ve seen that same unholy stare reflected back to me in the display mirrors at the store where I work, from my own bloodshot eyes!

I don’t want to compare myself to Chris Benoit, but…

When my customers swarm me with questions I can’t answer and lean over me while I struggle to change their watch batteries, well, the rage begins to build. I feel the primal surge, the fight response. With steroids, testosterone surges through bulging muscles, builds in the body, then -“bam”- releases for the final brain blast. I recognized that look in Chris Benoit’s eyes in the pictures taken just before… 

But I don’t just blame the customers for my “retail rage”. Ooo, the industrial designers at Timex are all sadists! I just know they spend half their day giggling in front of their CAD computer screens while they plot out new booby traps to snare the poor suckers who, like me, have to change those bloody batteries. And don’t let me get started on the depraved souls engineering the impenetrable watch backs at Seiko!