Toilet paper solves global oil crisis

The world is slowly, but surely, running out of oil. I’m not concerned, even though our culture is guzzling it with total abandon. Not worried a bit, even though we are completely dependent on the stuff. We’ll be fine. Why? Because of the toilet paper paradigm…

We’re generally reckless with this household resource when there’s at least one more roll in the cupboard. And we’re still liberal with it when the final roll is first mounted. But there’s a distinct point, at a certain square, when the harsh reality of our predicament sets in. Our perception of each square’s value changes drastically. We become acutely aware of texture and thickness as we alter our absorbency calculations for maximum efficiency. How we use TP changes too. We test out folding versus scrunching. We discover we can get by with far fewer squares and still be perfectly hygienic. And, if the unthinkable happens and the roll runs out entirely, we are incredibly resourceful in finding substitutes ; ) 

We may be mounting that last roll right now, in terms of oil, but I have no doubt that once we reach that certain square we’ll have had enough practice in our bathrooms to know exactly what to do.

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One Response to Toilet paper solves global oil crisis

  1. […] Click Here to read about how toilet paper can solve the global oil crisis – no really! […]

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