Every girl has one…
…that boy who swept you off your feet then dragged you through a lovely, spring fresh field of land mines. You know, the one boy you can’t resist, even through he’s put your heart/ self-esteem/ hope-for-the-future through the shredder too many times to count. I’m sure he was one of your first loves too, and you two just “got” each other right from the beginning. ya ya
I have one of my own, of course, but I’m not ready to him dredge up from the bilgewater of my grade 9 memories. The charmer you see in the picture above is kryptonite to a friend of mine. She’s been trying to break free of his toxicity for almost a year. Part of growing up is recognizing the poison people in our lives, and having the courage to cut ourselves loose. Step back, let’s try taking a look at our relationships from the outside. Are red flags waving wild to get our attention?
I read a great line yesterday: “(paraphrased) if you’re trying to get to the reality of your relationships, try imagining one of your discussions as verbatim dialogue in a novel. Do you have new empathy? Do the characters surprise you? Disgust you?” (note: disgust is always a bad sign)
And speaking of bad signs… If your kryptonite boy (or girl) chooses to post a picture of himself similar to the one above (this pic is from my friend’s charmer’s myspace profile page), the case is already settled. Don’t bother plugging him into dialogue or asking yourself “is he an energy vampire?” Most pictures say a thousand words. This photo says one… run. Ok, maybe two… run… fast.