Marriage: Just remember this one little secret…

“Marriage isn’t a court of law. It is a court of precedent.” Kristi DeWolf

The most illuminating piece of marital advice I’ve ever heard comes from my genius-in-training unmarried 18 year old coworker. And to think, some people out there still listen to Dr. Phil. Get with the times people! Want wisdom? Look for a girl with face piercings and an ‘unprecedented’ ‘tude.


19 Responses to Marriage: Just remember this one little secret…

  1. manupmen says:

    Good quote. At least we agree marriage is a trial. Most men just plead guilty in the morning and throw themselves on the mercy of the court. Lucky for them, they have the ability to have women on the side to relieve the tedium of being owned.

  2. Cymbria says:

    I beg to differ. I take the quote as inspiration. Instead of having a stogy set of “rules of procedure” to adhere to in modern marriages, we are all given the opportunity to build on the precedents we set. Every action sets the tone for the next.

    Build and practice kind and loving habits, and you set the precedent for your future together. I won’t argue that this can also work conversely, but the principle serves as a simple reminder that each couple has the power to establish their own set of organically evolved rules and traditions. And please, tedium? Careful, you risk writing your own “life sentence” by using those types of words- cheers ; )

  3. Thérèse says:

    I totally agree, Cymbria. It’s the little things that you do for each other, the simple things that take a little effort and are greatly appreciated, that amount to a strong, long-lasting foundation for a relationship. You end up with a great vibe around the person, and they don’t have to be doing anything for you to feel it. It’s in the everyday, the paying attention.

    Conversely, when you let little annoyances accumulate, or perpetuate them, a relationship gets that undefinable bad vibe, where you’re always irritated with a person and can’t articulate why. Eventually, the relationship cannot recover.

    I think an important thing to remember is that every relationship, no matter how strong, no matter how fragile, no matter if it is romantic in nature or not, is made better when both people pay attention and take care.

  4. manupmen says:

    “There’s no such thing as a well-adjusted slave,” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

  5. Cymbria says:

    If we’re going to ask Emerson…

    “Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    One of America’s most fervent abolitionists (your quote’s context), Ralph Waldo Emerson, was himself married twice. He was broken hearted by the death of his first wife, Ellen, and visited her grave daily. His second wife, Lydia, was courageous and supportive enough to be the one to suggest they name their first daughter after his first wife. Need more proof of his personal experience and opinion of marriage?

    “A sufficient and sure method of civilization is the influence of good women” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    I hope you find one of the latter who will change your mind, manupmen. But I hate to break it to you, Therese and I are already spoken for hehee : )

    Quote source:,%20Ralph%20Waldo.html

  6. manupmen says:

    I am glad Emerson had more than one woman! Hopefully he had a few on the side. Whose would be a man must be a nonconformist.

  7. Cymbria says:

    Sigh, if your mother could hear you now haha
    And Emerson? Well, he’d be rolling in his grave.

    As for me…I’d love to refute you, but I’ll first need you to clarify the meaning of your third sentence. Oh no, here I am asking something of you: A commitment to another response. I’ll understand, manupmen, if I’m nagging and that’s just too much ‘commitment’ for a charmer like yourself haha I’m sure you have other blog conversations on the go. How could I possibly expect you to keep ‘faithful’ to this one. lol

  8. manupmen says:


    I have returned from Cape Cod to find your anti-male bigotry in full bloom. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  9. Cymbria says:

    Wow, my first personalized blogosphere reprimand lol. My name, the comma, I feel so special. You must really care ; )
    I can only return the favour…


    You’d bring out “anti-male bigotry” in anybody.


  10. manupmen says:

    Sorry to hear that you have “anti-male bigotry” inside you. Admitting it is the first step. The next step is to stop blaming others for “bringing it out” of you, and take responsibility for your own bigotry.

  11. Cymbria says:

    Lovely to hear an apology come out of your fingertips- really warms the heart lol.

    hmmmm, “projection” is one of the basic concepts of psychology. Thanks for being so textbook ; ) And are those the steps you had to follow to confront your misogyny? Oh wait, my mistake, you haven’t quite made it to number one yet. Hang in there manupmen, recovery is a long process. When you get to “making amends”, drop by my comment board again lol.

  12. Giselle says:

    I didnt get it.. what is a court of precedent?

  13. kristi02 says:

    Well, what I meant by it… was that there are no real “rules” or bylaws to be upheld within a marriage, it is based on what one has known and seen of marriage and relationships. This is in the sense of day-to-day life, though. Laundry; dishes; tv privilages; simple living habits that one may not think about before being binded together by law. It really is scary how much pull parents have in regards to their childrens future!

  14. Giselle says:

    you are right.. its the simple living habits the day to day facts of life that we dont think about before marriage..and afterwards those are the little things that result in fights and arguments depending upon how you deal with them..
    i got to tell you i like the statement you made kristi..

  15. Cymbria says:

    What can I say…she’s the brain to watch ; )

  16. kristi02 says:

    *takes a bow* 😀

  17. Giselle says:

    *standing ovation* 😉
    lolz.. anyway, some secrets of life you come to know from the observants… 😉

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